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What IVF Actually Feels Like: A Phase-by-Phase Guide

IVF is often explained clinically, including what your body will do, what the doctors will monitor, and how the procedures work. That's important. But it's not the whole story.

This is what IVF actually feels like emotionally, physically, and relationally as you move through each phase. Not what's supposed to happen. What it's really like.

Jump to: Before You Start Stimulation Retrieval Waiting After
Phase 1

Before You Start (Preparing)

What's happening medically

Testing, insurance navigation, choosing a clinic, baseline appointments, consent forms.

What it actually feels like

Overwhelming. You're making huge decisions without knowing what you're deciding. The paperwork feels clinical. The financial conversations feel impossible. You might feel exhausted before anything's even begun. You might not feel hopeful, and that's okay.

What people don't tell you

  • The decision fatigue is real
  • "Readiness" might never feel like a thing you arrive at
  • You can want a child and not want IVF at the same time

What might help

Space to feel ambivalent. Permission to not be excited. Someone who acknowledges this is a lot before it's even started.

Phase 2

Stimulation

What's happening medically

Daily injections, monitoring appointments, ultrasounds, bloodwork, watching your follicles grow.

What it actually feels like

Your body doing something it wouldn't naturally do. Bloating. Discomfort. Feeling very aware of your ovaries. Anxious before every appointment. What if there aren't enough follicles? What if there are too many? Your life revolving around morning appointments and evening injections.

What people don't tell you

  • The injections usually hurt less than you think, but the repetition is exhausting
  • You might feel disconnected from your body
  • The emotional swings aren't just "hormones." They're the weight of what you're doing

What might help

Fewer commitments. Comfortable clothes. Not having to explain why you're tired. Someone who doesn't minimize it with "at least you don't have to do it for nine months."

Phase 3

Retrieval

What's happening medically

The procedure. Anesthesia. Egg retrieval. Recovery. Waiting for the fertilization report. Waiting for the embryo report.

What it actually feels like

A blur, then soreness, then waiting. The day of retrieval might be easier than you expected. The days after: bloated, tender, tired. Then the phone calls start. How many eggs. How many fertilized. How many made it to day 3, day 5, day 6. Every number feels loaded.

What people don't tell you

  • Recovery varies wildly. Some people feel fine in a day, others need a week
  • The drop-off in numbers (from eggs retrieved to embryos) can feel like loss
  • You might feel relief when it's over, even if you're still waiting

What might help

Rest without guilt. Someone to field the phone calls if you can't. Permission to not know how you feel about the numbers yet.

Phase 4

Waiting (The Two-Week Wait)

What's happening medically

Transfer (if fresh cycle). Waiting for implantation. Waiting for the beta test. Trying not to obsess over every symptom or lack thereof.

What it actually feels like

The hardest part. Not because anything's happening, but because nothing is. You're holding hope and dread in the same breath. Every twinge feels significant. Every absence of symptoms feels ominous. Time moves differently. You can't think about anything else, and you're exhausted from trying.

What people don't tell you

  • Distraction doesn't really work. You're just waiting with distractions
  • Testing early gives you information sooner, but extends the emotional timeline
  • Numbness during this time is protection, not apathy

What might help

Low expectations for yourself. Rest. Someone who doesn't ask "How are you feeling?" every day. Permission to feel nothing if that's what's happening.

Phase 5

After (Whatever Comes Next)

What's happening medically

The beta results. Either it worked or it didn't. Either you're moving into pregnancy monitoring or you're processing a failed cycle. Either you're continuing or you're done.

What it actually feels like

If it worked: Relief, fear, disbelief, cautious hope, worry that it won't stick.
If it didn't: Grief, exhaustion, anger, relief that the waiting is over, dread about what comes next.

Both outcomes are complicated. Neither feels simple.

What people don't tell you

  • Success doesn't feel purely joyful. It feels fragile
  • Failure doesn't feel purely devastating. Sometimes there's relief mixed in
  • You don't have to decide what comes next right away

What might help

Space to feel however you feel without performing the "right" emotion. Time before making the next decision. Someone who doesn't say "at least you know you can get pregnant" or "you can try again."

After the phases

IVF doesn't end cleanly. Whether it works or doesn't, you carry it. Your body remembers. Your relationships shift. You're different.

That's not failure. It's just what happens when you go through something this big.

If you're looking for support that acknowledges what IVF actually feels like, not just what's supposed to happen, OpenCove provides guidance through each of these phases. Not clinical. Not toxic positivity. Just presence for what this journey asks.

CoveBox provides tangible care items for the cycle: comfort for hard days, grounding tools for waiting, small gestures that acknowledge the weight.

Both exist because this deserves more than procedure explanations.

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Disclaimer

Solacove provides emotional support and information about navigating IVF treatment. We are not medical professionals, therapists, or clinicians. Nothing on this site replaces the care and guidance of your healthcare provider, mental health professional, or fertility clinic.

If you're experiencing a medical emergency, contact your doctor or call 911 immediately. If you're in crisis or need mental health support, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.

The experiences and perspectives shared here reflect lived reality, not medical advice. Your body, your treatment, your decisions. Always consult your care team.